WAIT!

Here's a GREAT WAY to save MEGA BUCKS
on the same services you're already using EVERY DAY! (and paying WAY too much for!)
Click Here Now!


Are you sick to death of the high monthly interest rates on your credit cards? Are you tired of not getting the credit you deserve? Click Here Now and choose the credit card that's right for you. It's FAST, it's EASY, it's SECURE, and almost everyone's approved - regardles of credit! YourSourceForCreditCards.com


Read Articles:

Buying a Florida Investment Property
Florida Real Estate Investing Tips
How To Plan A Car Show Attraction
Considerations for Florida Investment Pr
Pick a City any City
How To Make Your Car Show Attractive
Florida Investment Real Estate considera
Vacations Made Easy Buying a Florida In
A Strategy for Attracting Higher Paying
How To Make A Woman Trust You Completely
Kids Just Wanna Have Fun
Pre Construction Condominiums
Putting Your Business Scents to Work
What Are Chemical Bonds and Why Do They
Pet Retailing The Unique Retail Experi
How to Plan a Car Show Extravaganza and
Taking A Trip Without Breaking The Bank
Business Travelers Turn to Bed and Break
Sexual Attraction I Slept With Elvis
San Diego Leaders in Real Estate and New
You CAN Improve Your Relationship
How to get a summer job
The Internet Can it Really Level The Pl
10 Emotionally Intelligent Questions to
Sex And Scent Your Personal Pheromones
Hidden in Plain Sight How to Attract Wh
Engine Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Explore LessTraveled Paths in Camping C
Vehicular Diuretic To Use or Not to Us
You May Be Marketing Your Company Right
3 very simple steps to making money onli
Are You Making These Body Language Mista
7 Top Strategies to Building a Benefits
How To Be A Simply Irresistible Salesper
A Fast Way to Find Clients
A New Look For Business In The Future
Leave A Message Please
Cancel Cancel How Giving Attention to
Be a Realtor with Curb Appeal
Choosing an Intimate Conference Venue
ClickBank Refunds Hope for the Best bu
Conducting a VoIP Readiness Assessment o
Convert Your ClickBank Affiliate Links t
Council Right to Buy Mortgage Helping
CYCLING PROGRAMS PONZI SCHEMES
Dating Tool Confidence 101
Euro Tax Haven Threat
No Rules
Franchises Exit Strategies
From Ant Farm To Success
10 Magical Steps to Fulfilling Your Pros
Grow Rich With Your Thought
The Focus Wheel
A Vision of a New Morality
Have You Identified the Enemy
HIGH YIELD TEAM INTRODUCES SPLENDORS OF
Housing Bill Changes in Right to Buy S
Housing Bill Changes In Right To Buy
Housing Bill Changes in the Right To B
How To Build and Manage A Winning Brand
How To Determine The Price Of Your Home
How to Own Your Dream Home in Spain
Mortgage suiting you best today
How to Secure the Best Mortgage Deal and
Is It Time To Hang Up On Investments In
Why Join 2 Tier Affiliate Programs
Las Vegas Sands Corp is IPO of the year
Looking For A Change
* Magnetize Your Business Success
Medical Tourism Medical Outsourcing by
MLM Network Marketing Why Failure Rate
Monaco Might Lose Its Status of Personal
Mortgage Terms Explained
Now Earn a Living with Your Home Based P
Ironman Wisconsin Triathlon


Index Pages: 1 2

Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction?

"Bad Boys".

If you're a woman, you may be saying "hmmm" as you hear these words. You know you shouldn't, but you just can't help yourself.

There is just SOMETHING about these guys that draws you in, even as your head tells you to "beware"!

So, what exactly is the attraction? It's not necessarily that they are more physically attractive or smarter or more successful than the "nice guys". In fact, they can have fewer of these qualities, yet be harder to resist.

So what is it? Let's begin by defining these guys. This term is generally applied to males who treat women poorly. Do these behaviors ring a bell?

*calling at 8:30 on a Saturday night to ask if you want to get together

*not showing up for a date- followed by no phone call or apology

*never having any money when you are out

* forgetting or ignoring your birthday and other important dates

*flirting openly with other women when you are together

*hitting on your good friend(s)

*making booty calls at 1am, after they've had a night out with others

*is doing time for a serious felony

Instead of asking "what is it about these guys"; let's instead examine what it is about the women who can't resist them. The following are actual statements from women who have a history of attraction to these guys. See if any of these sound familiar.

* "It's never BORING with him. He's unpredictable and exciting."

* "He's strong, aggressive and self-assured; I feel safe with him."

* "It's not his fault; he's trying to get his life together."

* "I haven't met anyone else that makes me feel the way he does."

* "He's so charming and passionate."

* "He tells me how much he likes me, so he must really feel something for me."

* "He needs me."

* "He doesn't come across as needy and desperate."

* "I can't believe I've attracted someone like him."

Now, on the face of these, they seem pretty benign. We all seek at least some of these traits in the men we choose. So, where's the problem?

Essentially it's in his inability to meet the woman's fundamental needs. She is the one doing all (or most) of the giving. The question then lies in; "what's in it for her?"

The answer can be found by exploring three basic issues:

*level of self-esteem

*capacity for intimacy

*roles that she has been in throughout her life

If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate who communicates both verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. She won't allow this other person to undermine her positive self-worth. She believes in her ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship.

If she doesn't feel good about herself, she chooses someone who reinforces her negative self-beliefs.

If a woman is capable of true intimacy, she is open to the true availability of the other person. She wants him to be a full and active participant in the relationship. She can allow herself to be open, vulnerable and able to take as well as to receive all that true intimacy offers.

If intimacy is difficult, she choose someone who is distant, hard to connect with and not emotionally and/or physically available.

If a woman has had a healthy role in her relationships since childhood, she will choose someone with whom she can continue this healthy interaction.

If a woman has been too long in the role of rescuer, caregiver or the one who sacrifices for the good of others, this will probably be the role she will seek out in her relationships.

Fortunately, most women fall somewhere in between on these issues. So the task is to evaluate yourself in each area and decide on a course of action that will help you to choose a "nice guy", who stirs your senses and meets your needs while being truly available for a real relationship.

Begin with an assessment of what you value most in life and cannot live without.

Go to http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/02oct.htm for an article on "clarifying and living your values".

Once you know what is most important to you and believe that you are worthy of achieving it, you will have taken a giant step towards finding the right partner for you.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.

 



©2005 - All Rights Reserved